Oh, You're Just Lazy!

My wife showed me a post on Facebook the other night from a fellow Gastroparesis sufferer.  The post was a fairly long one, but the gist of it was this:  A loved one, or several loved ones, are beginning to think she is just lazy and unmotivated every day.

It is easy to fall into this trap.   You may be having thoughts about why your loved one wants to sleep more than usual, or why he/she doesn't want to go out and do things they may enjoy.  Perhaps you wonder why their motivation is simply non-existent.

Let me just give you a little bit of advice as it pertains to this:

1.  Think about to the time right before your loved one was stricken with this disease, assuming you knew them before they were diagnosed.    Think about how productive, how full of energy, etc. they were during that time period.     Do you want to know why I want you to think about that?  Because that is exactly how your loved one wishes they felt right at this moment.     Most people like to be productive in some way - or do the things they enjoy whenever they feel like doing them.  Most (healthy) people do not want to sleep all day.  They want to work.  They want to go out and do things.  They don't want to be feel trapped in their own homes, or within their own bodies.
2.  Think about how you would react if your loved one was going through this with a different disease that is more well-known.   For example, what if your loved one had MS and was having a flare-up that caused them to need rest for hours, or even days?   What if your loved one had cancer, and needed to rest after a chemo treatment, or is just having a rough time in general?    How about something like this:  What if your loved one had the stomach flu that knocked them out for 24 hours?  Would you think they were lazy?  I sure hope not.  And, for some people, Gastroparesis can feel like a constant 24-hour stomach flu that just never goes away.
3.  Think about the essence of the disease itself:   If your loved one suffers from it, you probably have noticed that there are days when he/she cannot eat.   Days when he/she even has trouble drinking a glass of water.   Think of what that would do to anyone's body:  You would get dehydrated and weaker, which causes you to need to sleep and rest more.

If you are a loved one who likes to read about the condition and how it has impacted others, also remember another very important fact:  This disease strikes people in different ways.  Of the millions who have it, I would assume that just about all of them have different experiences, different symptoms, and different causes.   So, just because you read a post from someone who may say something like "I have Gastroparesis, but it doesn't really impact my day to day too much", remember that the person typing that may have a mild form of the disease, or may have symptoms that aren't quite so severe as other symptoms.   Everyone is different - don't take what one person's experiences are as gospel.   Just help the person in your life who has the disease get through it the best you can.  It may not be easy - but it is essential for them to have people around them who support them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.