Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't: The Gastroparesis Dilemma

One of my favorite comic strips of all time was the Far Side.   Gary Larson was a genius - telling a full (typically twisted) story with one drawing and a sentence or two.  

The comic strip above may as well explain Gastroparesis.    You may feel hungry with the need to eat, but you know that if you eat, you may end up crouched over in pain, or get a sudden feeling of fullness and/or nausea that could cause you to throw up what you just ate.      The human body cannot live without nutrients.  Keeping yourself hydrated can often be a problem with Gastroparesis - because there are times when you simply do not feel like eating or drinking.  There are times when you feel like eating or drinking and end up paying a price for doing so.   It is frustrating to the sufferer (and I am putting that mildly), which should make it frustrating for the loved one.   One thing you cannot do is attempt to shove something down their throats - on the other hand, you can't just avoid offering them something.    

My wife has been through the gauntlet.  One of the most frustrating aspects of her Gastroparesis is how the disease becomes so random within her own body.     There have been moments in the past where she felt good enough to ask me to go out and get a pizza.   Then there are times when something as simple as a cracker, baked potato, or white rice is impossible for her to hold down.   This can start a spiral of physical and emotional pain, one that is hard to recover from.   Whenever the disease goes into a lull, that feeling of dread is still there.  You hope the lull stays away forever, but with this disease, you never know.   Think about when you have a cold - when the headache, sneezing, coughing, or whatever symptoms you are feeling go away, you are confident that the cold is not going to come back.  And you would be right about that - a cold doesn't typically attack you, then give you the false sense of security before attacking you again.   Gastroparesis sufferers can only hope that is the case.   On top of that, even if the Gastroparesis resolves, you have no idea why it did.    The doctor can't put you in a MRI machine and say "You are officially cured".  It doesn't work like that.

Bottom line here is that, as a loved one, compassion is one of the best things you can do for a sufferer of this condition.   If you live in the same house, you are going to have no choice - you are likely going to eat a meal or two in front of a sick loved one who can only wish they could have a bite.    Be courteous about it - nobody is telling you to hide in the basement to enjoy your meal.   Just be in tune with the fact that your loved one is sick with a condition where food suddenly becomes an enemy.    And sometimes it is hard to be in the same room as the enemy.