Gastroparesis: Be Aware of Your Surroundings

If you can put together a list of the worst emotions you can feel, anger would probably be quite high on that list.  There really isn't much of anything worse than having a feeling of extreme anger.  Being extremely upset and emotional can actually be a good thing - having built-up anger that is about to explode like a volcano?  That is not a good thing.  And it definitely is not a good thing for a Gastroparesis sufferer.

When you are a loved one of somebody who has this condition, you too may feel very angry from time to time.  As I have stated previously, this is natural - nobody is going to walk around the household whistling all day long.     Being aware of your surroundings and how your loved one is feeling is one of the most important things you can do as a loved one.  You need to be able to adjust yourself - feel the temperature of the room - and act accordingly.

Is this always easy?  Of course not.   Anyone who paints a perfect picture of life with a sick wife/husband/child/etc. is probably painting the wrong picture; or is at least in fantasy land.   All you need to do is think about it; the mere fact that somebody in your house is very sick makes the picture far from perfect.    I feel as if I am someone very experienced in dealing with a sick spouse - Colleen has been sick for nearly three years now.  And if you have read my posts before, you also know another fact:  Colleen had to deal with having a sick spouse (me) for nearly 3 years.    In many ways, that probably gave us both a deeper understanding of the whole thing; she knows how it feels to be the "healthy one"; I know how it feels to be the "sick one".   (Please note that in no way am I comparing our situations; our illnesses were different, and of course, mine has been treated whereas hers hasn't been) 

If you come to the realization that sometimes a fight might break out (it is a marriage after all - disagreements will happen regardless if you are both healthy, both sick, or both living on Mars.  It is unavoidable), it will help you get through those situations in much calmer, more understanding way.  If you come out of a disagreement with a deeper understanding of where each other is coming from, consider it a victory - that is the goal after all, right?  The last thing you want, or need, is lingering resentment.  The person who is sick doesn't need resentment added on top of everything else; as a loved one, you definitely don't want that feeling either - hard to really concentrate on helping the patient if you have lingering resentment or anger.

I know I say this often in many different ways, but I do think it is true:  It is up to you, the loved one, to keep it all together, and not explode.   It is up to you to maintain the calm.  It is up to you to gauge that temperature and be aware of the surroundings.   You cannot, and should not, just let things linger and boil up.  If you feel the patient is uncomfortable in any way, make them comfortable.   

I am not saying it is a one way street - because, as I have said before, nothing about this can be a one-way street.  It isn't healthy.  What I am saying is that you must remember that you are the healthy one - the one more able, the one more in control of what you can do.  Your loved one is going to get emotional - and will likely get emotional often (especially on the really bad days).   You have to be there with them - and on the days where they feel "better", celebrate whatever you can about those days.   Be aware of your surroundings.