Food! Food! Everywhere There's Food!

As part of an exercise, I would like anyone who is reading this post to think back to the last five times you did something outside of your normal, every day routine.   Whether that be a birthday party, running a marathon, or going to a baseball game.  

Now, thinking of those past five experiences:   How many of them involved food in some way, shape, or form?  I would assume most who run marathons (something I certainly cannot attempt to do) would probably treat themselves to a nice lunch or dinner afterwards.    If you go to a birthday party, the amount of food available may be endless.   If you go to a ball game and have $20 to spare, that should get you at least a hot dog (depending on which stadium, of course)

Now, I am sure if you are a Gastroparesis sufferer, the last thing you want to read about in a blog is how much food is a part of everyday life - even when we do things that are not in our every day routines.

That is the point of this blog, however.

Obviously, nobody should feel guilty about offering food at a party, or buying food at a sporting event, or celebrating with food after an accomplishment.     But for someone with Gastroparesis, this is what can cause  anxiety to rise - and one of the last things a Gastroparesis sufferer needs is increased anxiety.

How does this tie into being a loved one?      You have to understand that sometimes people who suffer from this condition do not want to be around food.  Especially the types of foods that celebrations often have.    It is not easy to sit and watch as everyone else is enjoying a birthday cake.   If you go to a dinner party, more than likely there will be a lot of compliments to the host on how good the food is.   For a sufferer of this disease, that as well can trigger anxiety - all of this great food that everyone loves, and I can't have any of it!

The bottom line is that if your loved one suffers from this, you may have to come to terms with the fact that often you will need to attend events solo (or with your children only if you have them).    It is OK to feel awkward about that very notion, but remember:   Your life is easy compared to the person who is staying home.      In my case, the most awkward moment was the first time I went to an in-law's house for a major holiday.    It may not feel normal at first, but I try my best to avoid missing these events.   I often come back home with many stories to tell, and my wife is interested in hearing them.   I try to avoid the food subjects, but she typically just asks me anyway.  

Sometimes, you just have to use your best judgment.    Guilt is a strong emotion - and it works both ways.  You may feel guilty leaving your loved one, but your loved one will feel guilty that you only stayed home because of their illness.    That is normal behavior.   Don't avoid it - embrace it and come up with the best possible solution.  Because the last thing you want is for either of you to go from "guilt" to "resentment".