That I Would Be Good.....

Anyone who knows me extremely well would tell you that I am a huge (understatement) fan of Alanis Morissette.    Every lyric she writes and sings has a message and meaning behind it, and typically speaking, it is easy to find a situation in your own life which refers to what she is singing about.  (Never mind the fact that she sounds just as good - if not better - live than she does recorded)

One of her most emotional songs, That I Would Be Good, can relate easily to people with Gastroparesis.  In that song, Alanis refers to being good "if I got and stayed sick", which is a lyric that would most with this condition can definitely relate to.

A good person shouldn't be defined by their illness, or their circumstances, or their height, weight, skin color, sexual orientation, etc.   Being a good person has nothing to do with any of those things; being a good person is defined by your own actions, by how you treat others, and how you live your everyday life in general.

At times, a sufferer of Gastroparesis can struggle with this very notion.  If they are bedridden for an extended period of time, a sense of hopelessness, despair, and depression can set in.   Those emotions can often cause their minds to start thinking differently; that perhaps they aren't good enough, or that they aren't useful.   It is a dangerous slippery slope, but it can be a hard one to avoid.  It is like being an injured athlete having to sit on the sidelines when their team needs them the most.   As a Yankees fan, the first name that comes to mind is Derek Jeter - not that I think Derek Jeter's mind goes in the same places as those dealing with a severe illness, but the consequence can be the same - "I am not doing anything to help the team win" is right along the same lines as "I am not doing anything to help out this household" or your family, or whatever your circumstance may be.

My advice to those who have Gastroparesis is to try to avoid this path; if you have a loved one who truly does care, I can speak from personal experience:  We do not think these things of you.   We want you to get back up on your feet and be healthy and productive.  We understand that the thing that is causing that not to happen is a disease that has attacked you.      The last thing you need to worry about is the loved one closest to you feeling negatively towards you (if that does happen, deal with it pronto).

For those who are loved ones, you always have to remember that the person you married/gave birth to/etc. is still the same good person they always have been.   The challenges they face are much different, and in turn, your life is most certainly different.  There is no denying that fact - if you are the primary "caretaker" of someone with a severe illness, your life will change.      The lyrics from the song referenced above are powerful; as many people with this condition can scream them at the top of their lungs, hoping they can be heard.   You are the one who has to make sure you hear them.

Colleen has several tests upcoming as we continue in our quest to see if there is more going on than Gastroparesis.   I will update the blog as those tests are done; the first one is coming up in a few days.