The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

When my friends and I get together to play poker, one of the games we play is called "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly". Pretty much, you have one row of good cards that you can use in your hand; one row of bad cards you must discard from your hand; and one ugly card that can kill your hand completely. Suffice to say, "good" is a relative term in this game - as typically speaking, the winner has a hand that is simply less shredded than everyone else's. (Imagine the horror when somebody with a good hand loses it all on the ugly card. That could be a good $2.75 down the drain!)

So, what does Gastroparesis have to do with poker, anyway? In general, nothing - but this particular card game can describe how a Gastroparesis sufferer feels. Yes, they can have those "good" days, but it is like a winning hand in the game described above: It's not really all that good; just better than the rest. For a healthy person, if you have a day that feels like a good day to a Gastroparesis sufferer, you likely wouldn't really consider it all that good. There are different layers of bad as well - days when a patient will have bad nausea, or bad pain, or any number of symptoms that Gastroparesis can cause. They may be able to function a bit on these days, but with the constant fear that the nausea may cause vomiting, or that they won't be able to hold down something as simple as a saltine cracker. On the truly ugly days, it can be terrifying - many Gastroparesis sufferers cannot eat or drink, and really have no desire to do so. Because they don't have that desire, their body isn't getting calories (energy), which leads to a general feeling of tiredness and sluggishness. And what does your body want to do at that point? Sleep, of course. If your body isn't getting energy or any nutrition, it is not going to be able to function at a high level - or even a manageable level. Lately, Colleen has had more ugly days than anything else, and it has been a terrifying experience for her. Sometimes, an ugly flare-up for a sufferer can last a day, a week, or even longer than that. It is a slippery slope - even if your body wants to feel better, it can't because the sufferer can't get anything into their body to fuel it. This is why some Gastroparesis sufferers have to go down the path of feeding tubes, just so their body gets the stuff it needs for survival. Some sufferers may turn to the "stomach pacemaker" device to see if that can get them back up and running. Some may even consider using the more potent (and dangerous) drugs such as Reglan. It becomes more of a desperate situation to survive, rather than to even think about thriving.

There is no more important time for a loved one to step in and be strong than during the ugliest periods. They will be filled with dread for your loved one, and you have to pick up the pieces. The ugly days actually put me more in "listener" mode than any other time period - sometimes, your loved one simply needs to talk and get it all out. Listening to them can be much more important at this point than trying to talk over the sufferer. They need to get their feelings expressed; a simple hug is a very powerful way to let them do that.

As I have said a few times, Gastroparesis never strikes any two people the same way, it appears. But I can almost guarantee that every sufferer has their own version of what is a good day, a bad day, and an ugly one. Cherish the good days, and hope that someday, they become more plentiful - or even permanent. It does happen, and it could happen to your loved one. If only we knew when, why, and how.